Here's a link to my latest adventure!
https://www.facebook.com/TKingsCreations?ref=bookmarks#
Come take a look and enjoy!
Faith
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Friday, August 15, 2014
I need a time machine. Seriously!
Is it just me, or is time seriously speeding up?!
I've neglected this awesome outlet for 18 months, but seems like only a matter of weeks. My kiddos can ride bikes, draw legitimate pictures, recognize all the letters of the alphabet and send me from Caroline Ingalls to a raging Roseanne Conner in .5 seconds.
Quick catch up so my future posts can be up to date...
We're beginning a lot around this house, a furniture rehab and home decor business for me, soft start to homeschool for B&B, and Hubster has a ton of good stuff happening for him in the banking world.
We're planning our first vacation since our honeymoon 10 years ago- we're going to DISNEY WORLD! Sometime late winter or early spring (whenever airfare is cheapest!)
We're in the sad transition from Sesame Street to a (highly guarded) Super Hero pastime. Luckily, there's still Curious George. I love that monkey.
Babies are growing, life is changing and I'm just trying to keep up with the dishes and laundry while spinning the typical mom plates!
Stay tuned for some actual interesting posts in the near future. Hopefully less than 18 months from now...
I've neglected this awesome outlet for 18 months, but seems like only a matter of weeks. My kiddos can ride bikes, draw legitimate pictures, recognize all the letters of the alphabet and send me from Caroline Ingalls to a raging Roseanne Conner in .5 seconds.
Quick catch up so my future posts can be up to date...
We're beginning a lot around this house, a furniture rehab and home decor business for me, soft start to homeschool for B&B, and Hubster has a ton of good stuff happening for him in the banking world.
We're planning our first vacation since our honeymoon 10 years ago- we're going to DISNEY WORLD! Sometime late winter or early spring (whenever airfare is cheapest!)
We're in the sad transition from Sesame Street to a (highly guarded) Super Hero pastime. Luckily, there's still Curious George. I love that monkey.
Babies are growing, life is changing and I'm just trying to keep up with the dishes and laundry while spinning the typical mom plates!
Stay tuned for some actual interesting posts in the near future. Hopefully less than 18 months from now...
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
My Beautiful Nieces...
To my beautiful nieces. I know I may not be in your lives on a daily basis, but that doesn't make me love you or care less for you. You are amazing creations of God that are living in a scary world at a scary age.
Be strong. Be courageous. Be confident enough to make the right choices. You don't need anyone or anything to make you better.
You are smart, important people going women who have to power to change this world for good. Don't give in to the pressures of society. Be a light for God. You are princesses. Daughters of a Heavenly King and he wants more for you than what this earthly world pushes on you.
Stand out for the good things in this life. Be an example of who all your friends wish they were strong enough to be like.
I love you both. I want more for you in this life than you can ever conceive. Be strong. Be courageous. Be a true princess.
...and in true Aunt Theresa verbage...tell anyone who pressures you otherwise to screw off. :)
Be strong. Be courageous. Be confident enough to make the right choices. You don't need anyone or anything to make you better.
You are smart, important people going women who have to power to change this world for good. Don't give in to the pressures of society. Be a light for God. You are princesses. Daughters of a Heavenly King and he wants more for you than what this earthly world pushes on you.
Stand out for the good things in this life. Be an example of who all your friends wish they were strong enough to be like.
I love you both. I want more for you in this life than you can ever conceive. Be strong. Be courageous. Be a true princess.
...and in true Aunt Theresa verbage...tell anyone who pressures you otherwise to screw off. :)
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Rise up, rise up.
Give them ears to hear, Father. There are so many who need to know You now. Let them hear Your voice through my feeble words.
There's no doubt that evil exists in this world and that there is a spiritual war going on everyday in every place we look. So how do we win? How do we protect our families? How do we restore peace within our world?
We start in our homes. We start by disciplining out children. By teaching them that they can't have everything. That there is right and wrong. That we reap what we sow. That manners are important and the basic rule of "Treat others the way you want to be treated." is worthy of being followed.
We start by being the example of a committed marriage and equal partners in relationships. When we take vows that say "for better or worse", we actually work through the "worst" and not give up or get bitter, resentful or let out hearts, minds and bodies look for something "better".
We stop being overly indulged, entitled brats that think the world owes us something. We owe us something. We owe us integrity, honesty and accountability. We're not children anymore.
But first we start by knowing who we are through Christ. We are the children of a mighty and powerful God who loves us more than we could ever begin to understand. He is mercy. He is grace. He is forgiveness. He is with us in the hurt, the confusion, the pain, the joy, the miracles and the unexplained. He is the Healer. He is what YOU are looking for.
It's time to rise up. It's time to grow up. It's time to win this world back.
There are many who will see these as empty words of just another christian. My prayer is for you. It's time to believe in something.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
2,555 days. Memoir to my Angel Momma
7
God's perfect number.
7 days to create the Earth
7 Wonders of the World
7 Seals of Revelation
Jacob took 7 years to build the temple
There are 7 Feast days
Job had 7 sons
...ok, you get it.
For God, 7 is perfect and means completion in many cases.
For me, however, 7 has a completely different meaning today. Today, 7 means the number of years since my momma became my angel momma. 2,555 days since I've heard her voice. Felt her skin. Smelled her. Heard her. Seen her smile.
Somedays, 7 years feels like an eternity. And some days it hurts exactly the same as the first day.
It's really strange how my perception of reality can sometimes be altered. When you lose someone so close and time begins to pass, your mind begins to wonder which "life" is reality. Was it real when she was here and I could talk to her anytime I wanted? Or did she really exist at all? Was that part of my story real? I know that sounds odd, but if you've been in these shoes, perhaps it makes sense to you.
My mom was an incredibly strong woman with a sweet smile, a stubborn streak that was a mile long and a heart for her children. She made spaghetti on rainy days (which I do now because I crave it!) She loved to spend rainy Saturday morning wandering Walmart and Big Lots (which I crave to do as well!) She was a Girl Scout leader with a kitchen filled with cookie boxes each year. She made our dance uniforms for our Brownie Dance Troop. She made my Junior year Sweetheart dress and all the bridesmaids dresses for my wedding. She could redo an entire room in the house in 2 weeks (always while dad was away during the summer with the Army Reserves). She loved to watch Rugrats with us and had a decent addiction to the NES game Snake,Rattle and Roll for about a month. She loved to do family history with Aunt Pat and take the occasional trip to the casino.
She taught me to be strong and stubborn. She taught me that if I want something do, to just do it myself. She taught me that money isn't everything. She taught me to live for my children. She taught me to cook. She taught me to appreciate a good yard sale and flea market find :)
And losing her has taught me to stand strong in my faith. When one foundation is removed from your life, you either replace it or fall apart. It has taught me not to take anything for granted. To slow down and soak up every moment with my children. To make sure, without a doubt, that they know how much I love them. It has taught me that God is bigger than any challenge I could ever face. And there have been some challenges for sure.
Today, I miss her. My memory is flooded with childhood pictures of birthday parties, Saturday mornings, my backyard, the sound of her walking down the hall, watching her cook dinner, seeing her on the sidelines during performances, walking down the aisle with DJ at my wedding, and so many other moments I wish I could recreate. And some I wish I'd never experienced.
I'm so thankful for the woman she was. The example of a strong mother and a safe place to land.
I'm thankful for her "Make it happen" spirit and don't take 'No' for an answer mentality.
I wish my babies could know her, but I know there is a lot of her in me. I know she's with me all the time from music that plays on the radio to the hummingbird that flies around my front porch, and especially when I hear her shooting from my mouth!
7. God's perfect number sure has a lot of meaning today.
God's perfect number.
7 days to create the Earth
7 Wonders of the World
7 Seals of Revelation
Jacob took 7 years to build the temple
There are 7 Feast days
Job had 7 sons
...ok, you get it.
For God, 7 is perfect and means completion in many cases.
For me, however, 7 has a completely different meaning today. Today, 7 means the number of years since my momma became my angel momma. 2,555 days since I've heard her voice. Felt her skin. Smelled her. Heard her. Seen her smile.
Somedays, 7 years feels like an eternity. And some days it hurts exactly the same as the first day.
It's really strange how my perception of reality can sometimes be altered. When you lose someone so close and time begins to pass, your mind begins to wonder which "life" is reality. Was it real when she was here and I could talk to her anytime I wanted? Or did she really exist at all? Was that part of my story real? I know that sounds odd, but if you've been in these shoes, perhaps it makes sense to you.
My mom was an incredibly strong woman with a sweet smile, a stubborn streak that was a mile long and a heart for her children. She made spaghetti on rainy days (which I do now because I crave it!) She loved to spend rainy Saturday morning wandering Walmart and Big Lots (which I crave to do as well!) She was a Girl Scout leader with a kitchen filled with cookie boxes each year. She made our dance uniforms for our Brownie Dance Troop. She made my Junior year Sweetheart dress and all the bridesmaids dresses for my wedding. She could redo an entire room in the house in 2 weeks (always while dad was away during the summer with the Army Reserves). She loved to watch Rugrats with us and had a decent addiction to the NES game Snake,Rattle and Roll for about a month. She loved to do family history with Aunt Pat and take the occasional trip to the casino.
She taught me to be strong and stubborn. She taught me that if I want something do, to just do it myself. She taught me that money isn't everything. She taught me to live for my children. She taught me to cook. She taught me to appreciate a good yard sale and flea market find :)
And losing her has taught me to stand strong in my faith. When one foundation is removed from your life, you either replace it or fall apart. It has taught me not to take anything for granted. To slow down and soak up every moment with my children. To make sure, without a doubt, that they know how much I love them. It has taught me that God is bigger than any challenge I could ever face. And there have been some challenges for sure.
Today, I miss her. My memory is flooded with childhood pictures of birthday parties, Saturday mornings, my backyard, the sound of her walking down the hall, watching her cook dinner, seeing her on the sidelines during performances, walking down the aisle with DJ at my wedding, and so many other moments I wish I could recreate. And some I wish I'd never experienced.
I'm so thankful for the woman she was. The example of a strong mother and a safe place to land.
I'm thankful for her "Make it happen" spirit and don't take 'No' for an answer mentality.
I wish my babies could know her, but I know there is a lot of her in me. I know she's with me all the time from music that plays on the radio to the hummingbird that flies around my front porch, and especially when I hear her shooting from my mouth!
7. God's perfect number sure has a lot of meaning today.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Blessed beyond measure....and income.
I'm 2 months into my best career move ever. I've been home with Brady and Brooklyn for 9 weeks now and just like when they were born, I can't imagine living life any differently. I love the complete freedom of being home and not having my brain owned by the pressures of a job.
It took a few weeks for me to stop worrying about that job though! I was so conflicted for a while thinking about whether or not things were going ok for everyone else, all while trying to adjust to being home 24/7. As time has passed, my thoughts are focusing and our new routine is establishing itself.
I relish the moments when Brady and Brooklyn are playing together laughing and jabbering to each other. I know these moments are fleeting and passing very quickly. I love the challenge of keeping up with laundry and overcoming my natural laziness when it's time to cook- AGAIN. (There's only so much you can do with hamburger and chicken!)
Now that I'm settling into the full-time mom role, I'm picking up a new outlet. Tonight, I'm beginning a new kickboxing class at a local gym (Lead by the awesome Christy Ragsdale Hempen herself!) and I'm really excited to have something that is just for me. I've gotten back to pre-baby weight; not SHAPE mind you. I'm looking to this class as an outlet, a refresher for my brain and the opportunity to make me proud of myself. This has always been an area of great challenge for me, but I'm doing it with a different focus. Bring it on!
All in all, this leap of faith has been a fabulous one. As only God himself could do. Thank you Heavenly Father for blessings more numerous than I know!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Wow. The last 7 years...
I'm having a real moment of reflection. I am approaching another major life change and my heart and head are in a whirlwind.
In less than a month, I will be leaving my "career life" behind and embracing the challenge of being a "work at home mom" (I like the term WORK better than STAY, because I'm not just sitting around watching Soaps all day)
I am ecstatic at the blessing of being able to give up my income to raise my children and run my home; but I'm also very apprehensive about closing this chapter in my life. I know this is right and the timing is His, but my flesh is panicking a little. I've been through a lot of change, I'll roll with this one too.
7 years ago, I was newly married. I was an elementary teacher. I had a mother. I had a brother. I didn't have children. I lived in Farmington. I knew no challenge.
In 7 years, I have changed careers. I have known pain and tragedy. I have left my hometown. I have grown. I have been blessed with the 2 most amazing gifts. I have bought a house. I have become a "minivan" mom. I plan meals. I grocery shop at Aldi's to stay on budget. I put my childrens' needs before my own. I've seen my body stretch and grow. I've felt my babies inside me. I've planned nurseries. I've nursed illnesses. I've run a business. I've managed women (that's a feat in itself!) I've spun plates to keep everything moving forward. I've been stressed. I've been blessed. I've been stretched. I've been happy. I've been TIRED. I've loved this crazy life. And now a new door opens as one is closing behind me.
This job has been so integral in growing who I am today. I came to this center to keep my mind occupied during the hardest, most miserable moments of my life. This job has saved my life. (this is scary to put in writing) I was struggling with wanting to stay on this earth when I found this job. I had never felt so much overwhelming pain before and I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't want to handle it. Then came St. Philips. This job has been difficult and challenging, but it has introduced me to some of my best friends. It has made me laugh. It has made me cuss. It has brought me joy and purpose. It has been a huge part of my life and most importantly a part of my heart. I guess that's why it's so emotional to leave it behind and take the next step of faith forward.
I know God is in the unknown, and that He has a master plan for my life and the lives of my children. I welcome His guidance, His vision and His peace as I move forward.
Here's to the next 7 years!
In less than a month, I will be leaving my "career life" behind and embracing the challenge of being a "work at home mom" (I like the term WORK better than STAY, because I'm not just sitting around watching Soaps all day)
I am ecstatic at the blessing of being able to give up my income to raise my children and run my home; but I'm also very apprehensive about closing this chapter in my life. I know this is right and the timing is His, but my flesh is panicking a little. I've been through a lot of change, I'll roll with this one too.
7 years ago, I was newly married. I was an elementary teacher. I had a mother. I had a brother. I didn't have children. I lived in Farmington. I knew no challenge.
In 7 years, I have changed careers. I have known pain and tragedy. I have left my hometown. I have grown. I have been blessed with the 2 most amazing gifts. I have bought a house. I have become a "minivan" mom. I plan meals. I grocery shop at Aldi's to stay on budget. I put my childrens' needs before my own. I've seen my body stretch and grow. I've felt my babies inside me. I've planned nurseries. I've nursed illnesses. I've run a business. I've managed women (that's a feat in itself!) I've spun plates to keep everything moving forward. I've been stressed. I've been blessed. I've been stretched. I've been happy. I've been TIRED. I've loved this crazy life. And now a new door opens as one is closing behind me.
This job has been so integral in growing who I am today. I came to this center to keep my mind occupied during the hardest, most miserable moments of my life. This job has saved my life. (this is scary to put in writing) I was struggling with wanting to stay on this earth when I found this job. I had never felt so much overwhelming pain before and I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't want to handle it. Then came St. Philips. This job has been difficult and challenging, but it has introduced me to some of my best friends. It has made me laugh. It has made me cuss. It has brought me joy and purpose. It has been a huge part of my life and most importantly a part of my heart. I guess that's why it's so emotional to leave it behind and take the next step of faith forward.
I know God is in the unknown, and that He has a master plan for my life and the lives of my children. I welcome His guidance, His vision and His peace as I move forward.
Here's to the next 7 years!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Hearing His voice
I love serving a big God, and nothing is more satisfying to my spirit than knowing that I've heard His voice.
Now, He doesn't have a specific "voice" so to speak. It's just a knowing that I have. A peace that I'm doing the right thing and making the right decisions. It can also be a knowing that I'm NOT doing the right thing and that I'm hiding in my comfortable-ness (is that a word?)
Over Christmas, I decided I was finally ready to listen to the whisper inside me and make the official move to stay home with Brady and Brooklyn. I've always known that's what I was supposed to do, but ashamedly I battled with myself over whether or not I wanted to. (That sounds awful to say out-loud! Apparently my job provides me with a tangible self of worth and a superficial pat on the back. ) But, over the week I took of vacation to enjoy my kiddos, God gave me a peace and desire that the only people I need to perform for is 1) Him and 2) my family.
Chad and I talked about it at length, made sure we'd be ok financially and then made the official decision that I would be a full time mommy.
Since that moment, something has changed. I feel a sense of value that is indescribable. A knowing that I'm doing what I'm called to do. That I will be an integral part in raising two strong Christian children that can not only survive this world, but change it for His glory. I have taken more pride in myself. I'm learning to take care of me and to search deeper into my relationship with God and continue to listen to what He needs me to do.
Don't get me wrong. I'm no super hero-mom that has it under control! Ah, if only I had something under control. I'm just learning to listen closer. To tune my ear into His voice. And to take the next step of faith. I love serving a big God.
Now, He doesn't have a specific "voice" so to speak. It's just a knowing that I have. A peace that I'm doing the right thing and making the right decisions. It can also be a knowing that I'm NOT doing the right thing and that I'm hiding in my comfortable-ness (is that a word?)
Over Christmas, I decided I was finally ready to listen to the whisper inside me and make the official move to stay home with Brady and Brooklyn. I've always known that's what I was supposed to do, but ashamedly I battled with myself over whether or not I wanted to. (That sounds awful to say out-loud! Apparently my job provides me with a tangible self of worth and a superficial pat on the back. ) But, over the week I took of vacation to enjoy my kiddos, God gave me a peace and desire that the only people I need to perform for is 1) Him and 2) my family.
Chad and I talked about it at length, made sure we'd be ok financially and then made the official decision that I would be a full time mommy.
Since that moment, something has changed. I feel a sense of value that is indescribable. A knowing that I'm doing what I'm called to do. That I will be an integral part in raising two strong Christian children that can not only survive this world, but change it for His glory. I have taken more pride in myself. I'm learning to take care of me and to search deeper into my relationship with God and continue to listen to what He needs me to do.
Don't get me wrong. I'm no super hero-mom that has it under control! Ah, if only I had something under control. I'm just learning to listen closer. To tune my ear into His voice. And to take the next step of faith. I love serving a big God.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Where does the time go?
When I started this blog, I thought it would be a great outlet for me and a way that family and friends could somewhat keep in touch and watch the kiddos grow. Hmm, I guess that would require me to actually post something more than every 4 months, right? But who in the crap has time for that?
Brady and Brooklyn are growing and changing so quickly and time is passing so fast. Especially from 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM! Are we really sure there are 8 full hours in between? Because I'm pretty sure I'm feeling shorted in that category.
We moved into the new house a month ago and are pretty well settled. We still have random boxes of stuff that haven't found a home and haven't quite made it to the dumpster yet, but I imagine that's pretty normal!
The kiddos are adjusting to the new commute we have. It's only 20 minutes, but it can be the LONGEST 20 minutes with 2 little ones who desperately want out of their seats. Before we moved into the new house, we lived onsite of the daycare I run. It is church based and the pastor retired, leaving the 5 bedroom parsonage empty and looking for a renter when Brady was 4 months old. From September 2010 to November 2011, we lived there; which meant Brooklyn NEVER had to ride in a car seat everyday and Brady only did it for 2 months. This commuting thing was a big change for them!
And the new mommy having to get them dressed- remembering all their stuff-getting them in and out of the van everyday-without having a meltdown herself-and don't forget that I need to look semiprofessional by the time I actually get to work so I can sell how awesome our daycare is-morning routine is really exhausting.
I've been "Pinterest"ing ways to stay organized with everyday living including cooking in bulk so dinner time can run more efficiently (which is going OK), researching fun little projects to do with B&B in my "spare time", and generally getting addicted to all the awesome ideas on there. I just wish I had more energy at the end of the day to actually do something I enjoy doing.
If I was a New Years Resolution kind of girl, this would be the list for 2012:
1) Develop a workout routine I enjoy- just to have an outlet and create a healthier lifestyle
2) Spend 1 hour a day doing something I enjoy like crafting/sewing/reading/walking- SLEEPING.
3) Read a book a day to my kids.
4) Pay off a credit card (we don't have much personal debt, but "some" is too much)
5) Have my nails done on a semi-regular basis. (It's just a superficial thing I think makes me look more put-together)
6) Pray. and remember to be thankful for all things, big and small.
Life is certainly interesting with 2 beautiful babies under 2 years old, a fabulously ignored husband, and a full-time job. When people told me I'd have my hands full- I had no idea...
But I'm thankful for every exhausting minute!
Brady and Brooklyn are growing and changing so quickly and time is passing so fast. Especially from 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM! Are we really sure there are 8 full hours in between? Because I'm pretty sure I'm feeling shorted in that category.
We moved into the new house a month ago and are pretty well settled. We still have random boxes of stuff that haven't found a home and haven't quite made it to the dumpster yet, but I imagine that's pretty normal!
The kiddos are adjusting to the new commute we have. It's only 20 minutes, but it can be the LONGEST 20 minutes with 2 little ones who desperately want out of their seats. Before we moved into the new house, we lived onsite of the daycare I run. It is church based and the pastor retired, leaving the 5 bedroom parsonage empty and looking for a renter when Brady was 4 months old. From September 2010 to November 2011, we lived there; which meant Brooklyn NEVER had to ride in a car seat everyday and Brady only did it for 2 months. This commuting thing was a big change for them!
And the new mommy having to get them dressed- remembering all their stuff-getting them in and out of the van everyday-without having a meltdown herself-and don't forget that I need to look semiprofessional by the time I actually get to work so I can sell how awesome our daycare is-morning routine is really exhausting.
I've been "Pinterest"ing ways to stay organized with everyday living including cooking in bulk so dinner time can run more efficiently (which is going OK), researching fun little projects to do with B&B in my "spare time", and generally getting addicted to all the awesome ideas on there. I just wish I had more energy at the end of the day to actually do something I enjoy doing.
If I was a New Years Resolution kind of girl, this would be the list for 2012:
1) Develop a workout routine I enjoy- just to have an outlet and create a healthier lifestyle
2) Spend 1 hour a day doing something I enjoy like crafting/sewing/reading/walking- SLEEPING.
3) Read a book a day to my kids.
4) Pay off a credit card (we don't have much personal debt, but "some" is too much)
5) Have my nails done on a semi-regular basis. (It's just a superficial thing I think makes me look more put-together)
6) Pray. and remember to be thankful for all things, big and small.
Life is certainly interesting with 2 beautiful babies under 2 years old, a fabulously ignored husband, and a full-time job. When people told me I'd have my hands full- I had no idea...
But I'm thankful for every exhausting minute!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Time flies when you're raising 2 little children, working a job, buying a house...
Holy moly, to say we've been busy is an understatement. Brady and Brooklyn continue to change everyday, both in stature and personality!
Brady still enjoys being the life of the party and has recently gotten tubes in his ears (thanks to ever present ear infections) and has really kicked up the energy level. He loves anything with wheels and Cookie Monster. He runs from one end of the house to the other with an ear piercing shriek and will climb the couch in no time. He's certainly a classic boy!
Brooklyn's personality is really starting to blossom as well. She likes to move and know what's going on around her. She giggles a lot and has mommy's dimples. She loves to watch Brady (especially during the shrieking through the house) and is really a Daddy's girl from the start. She's been a pretty delicate eater to this point, but is really starting to put some food away! We're going to start experimenting with new foods this week to try and get her fuller. I think she definitely looks more like Chad than Brady does. She's fairer complected and is still a little cue ball for the most part.
We've bought our first home and are now waiting for an official closing date (don't buy a government owned home if you have time constraints- they'll take their sweet time, for sure!) It's in Pevely so we're a little closer to "home". We are so excited to get settled and enjoy the holidays together as a complete family this year. I can't wait to see their faces on Christmas morning!
All in all, life is great and incredibly hectic at times. God is good to us. He's blessed us with a beautiful family, wonderful home, stable secure income and a heart for others. We certainly couldn't ask for more.
We've bought our first home and are now waiting for an official closing date (don't buy a government owned home if you have time constraints- they'll take their sweet time, for sure!) It's in Pevely so we're a little closer to "home". We are so excited to get settled and enjoy the holidays together as a complete family this year. I can't wait to see their faces on Christmas morning!
All in all, life is great and incredibly hectic at times. God is good to us. He's blessed us with a beautiful family, wonderful home, stable secure income and a heart for others. We certainly couldn't ask for more.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Long time, no blog...
Wow, what a whirlwind of a few months it's been! It goes without saying that Ms. Brooklyn has made her arrival safe and sound and has been SUCH a blessing to our little family.
I had a lot of trepidation about having 2 children so young and how the added responsibility would change our lives, but we figure it out everyday and wouldn't change a single detail!
Here's my favorite picture of "Little Bit", as I call her. She's a very sweet, calm personality and is so much like Brady. She looks like him, but very much individual. She's 11 weeks old now and is starting to be much more interactive. She coo's and smiles at us when she wakes in the morning. She loves to cuddle and talk to the ceiling fans!
Brady is so good with her, too. He's always looking for "sissy", as he calls her, and loves to give her kisses. For the most part, he ignores that she's around but as soon as she cries, he's quick to find her and try to give
her a binky.
Life is good in the King house; speaking of King 'house', we've started the hunt for our first home. We're been renting from the church I work for for the last year or so and are ready to settle into our own home. I'll keep you posted on the progress!
Have a great weekend~ and I'll try to stay in touch more often now :)
I had a lot of trepidation about having 2 children so young and how the added responsibility would change our lives, but we figure it out everyday and wouldn't change a single detail!
Here's my favorite picture of "Little Bit", as I call her. She's a very sweet, calm personality and is so much like Brady. She looks like him, but very much individual. She's 11 weeks old now and is starting to be much more interactive. She coo's and smiles at us when she wakes in the morning. She loves to cuddle and talk to the ceiling fans!
Brady is so good with her, too. He's always looking for "sissy", as he calls her, and loves to give her kisses. For the most part, he ignores that she's around but as soon as she cries, he's quick to find her and try to give her a binky.
Life is good in the King house; speaking of King 'house', we've started the hunt for our first home. We're been renting from the church I work for for the last year or so and are ready to settle into our own home. I'll keep you posted on the progress!
Have a great weekend~ and I'll try to stay in touch more often now :)
Friday, April 29, 2011
My Brother: Part 2...
You must have been in a place so dark, you couldn't feel the light
Reachin' for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little home town
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd
Oh, why?
That's what I keep askin'
Was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were maskin' a troubled soul
God only knows what went wrong
And why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song
("Why" by Rascal Flatts)
It's funny how bringing a life into the world makes you evaluate and appreciate everything in a different light. My kids make me think about things with such different mentality. I re-visit my own childhood and remember the good things that I want to recreate for Brady and Brooklyn.
I think about the relationship I had with my own siblings. Oil and water. I think that's the best way to describe it. Donita and I were far enough apart that our relationship didn't really develop until we were all that was left for each other. From what I remember, DJ and I were like Tom and Jerry. We had moments when we could kill each other, but were always the first to jump to the others' defense. We played outside together riding bikes, playing in the creek, making mud puddles, destroying things we probably shouldn't have, fighting over the TV channel, throwing things at each other...you know, typical sibling rivalry.
As we got older, obviously our relationship changed. I started middle school, liking boys and he was now "the little brother" that was always around. Bugging me when I friends over, irritating me when I was on the phone with Chad and just trying to piss me off. At least that's how I saw it then. I'd give anything for him to piss me off now.
Once he started middle school and I got my first job(s), we didn't relate much anymore. He played football. I remember sitting along Middle Street watching practice with mom and Sally Whitener. I didn't know him much anymore. He was changing and so was I. We drifted apart, but he was still my brother and I would've been the first to jump to his defense.
Oh, why?
There's no comprehending
And who am I to try to judge or explain?
Oh, but I do have one burning question:
Who told you life wasn't worth the fight?
They were wrong
They lied
And now you're gone
And we cry
'Cause it's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
I may not have been spending every waking minute with him, but I still felt like he was there if I needed him and he knew I was there for him. We just didn't NEED each other anymore. At least that's what I thought. Little did I know that he was just starting to struggle with life. Middle school and high school can be hard for girls, but it can be just as trying for boys. From the outside, he was the happiest most care-free person you'd meet. The big dork was even on the cover of the local newspaper his senior year for riding our tractor to school with some of his friends. His was just quirky like that.
I got married, he went to college. I could tell he was changing. He liked to be the life of the party and became a real "John Deere" kind of guy. Cut off jeans with cowboy boots. Plaid shirts with the sleeves ripped off. Hat hair all the time. His friends were an interesting crowd. Some were good to him, some took his generosity for granted. He worked random jobs while at school, liked to go mudding and have a beer in the evening. Through all this freedom, he would've been at my side if I'd ever needed him. What a great man.
Your beautiful song
Your absolutely beautiful song
He finished school, moved back to Farmigton and worked at a trucking company. He was still looking for his calling and experimenting with life as he tried to figure it out.
Then mom got sick. He made the daily trips with us for 6 weeks before she passed. He was never the same again. He blamed himself. As we all carried some guilt. I guess children just do that no matter their age. Those 2 years after mom died, he really struggled. He withdrew from us. He tried to look and act the part. I could feel something wasn't right. I knew it, but I thought he was grieving and would eventually find his way without interference from me. I thought if I asked too much, he would completely disappear. So I never asked. What a mistake.
I remember one day he came to St. Louis and we went shopping for new clothes and a haircut for him. I thought he was "coming out of the gray" and wanting to put himself back together. I see now, he was trying to mask his pain and recreate what he thought we wanted. We spent much of the afternoon together (with the girl he was seeing at the time) had lunch, bought some clothes, found our childhood dining table at Goodwill (which he bought for his new rental house). It was a good day. I thought he was back. I chose to believe he was back.
He called when he got home that evening to let me know he made it, he loved me and that he had enjoyed the day just getting to spend time with me. I could still feel "it". Something wasn't right in his voice.
So I asked, "DJ, are you happy?"...there was a pause and then he replied, "I'm working on it."
He had said enough to satisfy me. It was close enough that I wouldn't push anymore. I just made sure he knew that we wanted him to be happy, no matter what that meant for him. What a cry for help, as I hear it now in my head. The biggest regret I have is accepting that answer and choosing to believe he was OK.
Now the oak trees are swayin' in the early autumn breeze
A golden sun is shining on my face
Through tangled thoughts I hear, a mockingbird sing
This old world really ain't that bad a place
Fast forward about a year...Three Rivers Cemetery on a sunny April morning. Standing, staring at a powder blue casket surrounded by people and not seeing any of them. I felt like such a failure. I had let him down and now there's nothing I could do about it. I don't know how long I stood there after the service was over as people began to leave, but I remember finally stepping up to his casket, kissing it and saying my final words to him...
..."I hope you found what you were looking for. I hope you're happy now"...
Now, I see my own son and think about how much Uncle DJ would love hanging out with him. He is so happy-go-lucky like DJ. He loves to play with anything that has wheels and they would've been the best buddies. And Brooklyn would've been a spoiled princess. He would've loved them. He DOES love them. And he loves me, he doesn't blame me and I'm working on not blaming me either.
Reachin' for you through that stormy cloud
Now here we are gathered in our little home town
This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd
Oh, why?
That's what I keep askin'
Was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were maskin' a troubled soul
God only knows what went wrong
And why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song
("Why" by Rascal Flatts)
It's funny how bringing a life into the world makes you evaluate and appreciate everything in a different light. My kids make me think about things with such different mentality. I re-visit my own childhood and remember the good things that I want to recreate for Brady and Brooklyn.
I think about the relationship I had with my own siblings. Oil and water. I think that's the best way to describe it. Donita and I were far enough apart that our relationship didn't really develop until we were all that was left for each other. From what I remember, DJ and I were like Tom and Jerry. We had moments when we could kill each other, but were always the first to jump to the others' defense. We played outside together riding bikes, playing in the creek, making mud puddles, destroying things we probably shouldn't have, fighting over the TV channel, throwing things at each other...you know, typical sibling rivalry.
As we got older, obviously our relationship changed. I started middle school, liking boys and he was now "the little brother" that was always around. Bugging me when I friends over, irritating me when I was on the phone with Chad and just trying to piss me off. At least that's how I saw it then. I'd give anything for him to piss me off now.
Once he started middle school and I got my first job(s), we didn't relate much anymore. He played football. I remember sitting along Middle Street watching practice with mom and Sally Whitener. I didn't know him much anymore. He was changing and so was I. We drifted apart, but he was still my brother and I would've been the first to jump to his defense.
Oh, why?
There's no comprehending
And who am I to try to judge or explain?
Oh, but I do have one burning question:
Who told you life wasn't worth the fight?
They were wrong
They lied
And now you're gone
And we cry
'Cause it's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song
I may not have been spending every waking minute with him, but I still felt like he was there if I needed him and he knew I was there for him. We just didn't NEED each other anymore. At least that's what I thought. Little did I know that he was just starting to struggle with life. Middle school and high school can be hard for girls, but it can be just as trying for boys. From the outside, he was the happiest most care-free person you'd meet. The big dork was even on the cover of the local newspaper his senior year for riding our tractor to school with some of his friends. His was just quirky like that.
I got married, he went to college. I could tell he was changing. He liked to be the life of the party and became a real "John Deere" kind of guy. Cut off jeans with cowboy boots. Plaid shirts with the sleeves ripped off. Hat hair all the time. His friends were an interesting crowd. Some were good to him, some took his generosity for granted. He worked random jobs while at school, liked to go mudding and have a beer in the evening. Through all this freedom, he would've been at my side if I'd ever needed him. What a great man.
Your beautiful song
Your absolutely beautiful song
He finished school, moved back to Farmigton and worked at a trucking company. He was still looking for his calling and experimenting with life as he tried to figure it out.
Then mom got sick. He made the daily trips with us for 6 weeks before she passed. He was never the same again. He blamed himself. As we all carried some guilt. I guess children just do that no matter their age. Those 2 years after mom died, he really struggled. He withdrew from us. He tried to look and act the part. I could feel something wasn't right. I knew it, but I thought he was grieving and would eventually find his way without interference from me. I thought if I asked too much, he would completely disappear. So I never asked. What a mistake.
I remember one day he came to St. Louis and we went shopping for new clothes and a haircut for him. I thought he was "coming out of the gray" and wanting to put himself back together. I see now, he was trying to mask his pain and recreate what he thought we wanted. We spent much of the afternoon together (with the girl he was seeing at the time) had lunch, bought some clothes, found our childhood dining table at Goodwill (which he bought for his new rental house). It was a good day. I thought he was back. I chose to believe he was back.
He called when he got home that evening to let me know he made it, he loved me and that he had enjoyed the day just getting to spend time with me. I could still feel "it". Something wasn't right in his voice.
So I asked, "DJ, are you happy?"...there was a pause and then he replied, "I'm working on it."
He had said enough to satisfy me. It was close enough that I wouldn't push anymore. I just made sure he knew that we wanted him to be happy, no matter what that meant for him. What a cry for help, as I hear it now in my head. The biggest regret I have is accepting that answer and choosing to believe he was OK.
Now the oak trees are swayin' in the early autumn breeze
A golden sun is shining on my face
Through tangled thoughts I hear, a mockingbird sing
This old world really ain't that bad a place
Fast forward about a year...Three Rivers Cemetery on a sunny April morning. Standing, staring at a powder blue casket surrounded by people and not seeing any of them. I felt like such a failure. I had let him down and now there's nothing I could do about it. I don't know how long I stood there after the service was over as people began to leave, but I remember finally stepping up to his casket, kissing it and saying my final words to him...
..."I hope you found what you were looking for. I hope you're happy now"...
Now, I see my own son and think about how much Uncle DJ would love hanging out with him. He is so happy-go-lucky like DJ. He loves to play with anything that has wheels and they would've been the best buddies. And Brooklyn would've been a spoiled princess. He would've loved them. He DOES love them. And he loves me, he doesn't blame me and I'm working on not blaming me either.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
My brother and April 18, 2008: Part 1
This Sunday will mark the 3rd "anniversary" of one of the worst days of my life. Hopefully there will be none worse than it. I have so many thoughts surrounding this event that it's hard to know where to start.
Friday, April 18, 2008...I was waiting in the carpool line to pick up Jack and a friend. He's the little guy I nannied for at the time. He was having a playdate that afternoon. We were going to the park to play and then home for snack and Jack's mom, Laura, was going to be home earlier than usual. My phone rang while I was waiting, it was Laura. She said she was on her way home at the moment and to just bring the boys there. Her daughter was coming home early from a week long camp and she wanted to be there to meet her and start the weekend early. I was thinking that it sounded perfect, because my weekend could start early too!
As we pulled up to Jack's house, I noticed Chad's car sitting outside his house. I thought nothing of it- maybe he had planned to surprise me with a visit, a dinner, or something. I was not prepared for the surprise he had. The boys jumped out of my car, and Laura came out the front door and rushed them inside. Chad stepped out of his car and I almost ran to him. I was so excited to see him and also know that I was finished working for the day! He walked towards me. I'm still so excited to see him that I'm not noticing the solemn look on his face. I greet him with a kiss and energetically asked what he's up to. Then I realize, "This is not good". He can't really look at me, but says words I'll never forget.
"It's DJ."
"What about him?" I thought he was in an accident, got arrested or something similar.
"...he killed himself."
I froze. Time froze. I instantly comprehended what he was saying and the visuals in my head went overboard. I knew he was gone. There was no denial. No misunderstanding. Just sheer pain and incredible guilt. Instantly. I melted and cried. We walked inside Jack's house. Laura was standing inside and I went to her immediately. She hugged me and told us to take all the time we needed at the house. We sat in the living room and I remember staring out the window trying to answer all the questions that were swirling in my head.
"How did he do it?" I asked Chad. I'm sure that's one question he didn't want to answer.
"Shotgun, I think." was all he said. That was enough for me.
I wanted to throw up. I wanted to hide. I wanted to die. I have NEVER felt a pain like that before. An emotional pain that hurts so much you can feel it in your bones.
We sat for a few more minutes and then I wanted to be in Farmington with my family. NOW. We said our goodbyes to Laura. I told her I'd call her in a few days and let her know what was happening. Then we got in my car, headed home to pack and make the hour drive to Farmington.
When we got to our townhouse, I remember walking inside and trying to focus on what clothes to take with me. I stood outside our little laundry room, trying to pick out an outfit or 2 and just melted into the floor. I became a weeping pile. Chad came and sat with me while I cried and got angry about not having anything to take. We finally grabbed the essentials and decided we'd go shopping for anything else we needed.
It was raining. A pathetic, cold, depressing rain as we drove. I called Donita to check on her and get what little details she had. She was rather together, as she'd had a little more time to process than I had at this point. She said he was found that morning, but had done it the afternoon before. I was so angry that my little brother had been dead for more than 12 hours and no one knew it. I felt like I should've known. I should've felt it. I felt like it was my fault that he had laid there, alone. Alone. I was so angry at myself.
We drove what felt like 25 MPH to Farmington. We got to my sister's house where she and my dad were. They were so still. We talked about the details. When did it happen, how was he found, who found out first... All the pointless information that seems so vital in the moment.
My biggest worry was "Was he scared? Did he have doubts in that last split second?"
The next few days went by in a blur. There were hundreds of people. Tons of flowers. Lots of tears. We had the option of seeing him during our family visitation. Without seeing him, we knew we'd never believe it. The funeral home told us that they tried to "reconstruct" as much as possible, but were not able to. For us, his tattoo served as closure. The visitation, the funeral, the gravesite, the cleaning out of his belongings, the questions, the grief, the guilt. It was all part of the process and the worst week of my life.
There are days that are still as paralyzing as April 18, 2008. There are days when I can't forgive myself for moving away and leaving him after mom died. Days when I beat myself up for not asking more questions of him when I knew something wasn't right. There have been days when I just wanted to die with him.
But those days are coming fewer and far between. I definitely believe that God takes our pain and helps us create strength from it. Only He knows how much pain we've endured. This life hurdle can be used to help others. It has taught me to not take anything for granted, to appreciate love, to be more understanding of other peoples' circumstances and to treat today as though it may be your last. It has made me a better mother, because I never want my children to doubt how much they are loved, how special they are and how much better they can make this world.
As we pulled up to Jack's house, I noticed Chad's car sitting outside his house. I thought nothing of it- maybe he had planned to surprise me with a visit, a dinner, or something. I was not prepared for the surprise he had. The boys jumped out of my car, and Laura came out the front door and rushed them inside. Chad stepped out of his car and I almost ran to him. I was so excited to see him and also know that I was finished working for the day! He walked towards me. I'm still so excited to see him that I'm not noticing the solemn look on his face. I greet him with a kiss and energetically asked what he's up to. Then I realize, "This is not good". He can't really look at me, but says words I'll never forget.
"It's DJ."
"What about him?" I thought he was in an accident, got arrested or something similar.
"...he killed himself."
I froze. Time froze. I instantly comprehended what he was saying and the visuals in my head went overboard. I knew he was gone. There was no denial. No misunderstanding. Just sheer pain and incredible guilt. Instantly. I melted and cried. We walked inside Jack's house. Laura was standing inside and I went to her immediately. She hugged me and told us to take all the time we needed at the house. We sat in the living room and I remember staring out the window trying to answer all the questions that were swirling in my head.
"How did he do it?" I asked Chad. I'm sure that's one question he didn't want to answer.
"Shotgun, I think." was all he said. That was enough for me.
I wanted to throw up. I wanted to hide. I wanted to die. I have NEVER felt a pain like that before. An emotional pain that hurts so much you can feel it in your bones.
We sat for a few more minutes and then I wanted to be in Farmington with my family. NOW. We said our goodbyes to Laura. I told her I'd call her in a few days and let her know what was happening. Then we got in my car, headed home to pack and make the hour drive to Farmington.
When we got to our townhouse, I remember walking inside and trying to focus on what clothes to take with me. I stood outside our little laundry room, trying to pick out an outfit or 2 and just melted into the floor. I became a weeping pile. Chad came and sat with me while I cried and got angry about not having anything to take. We finally grabbed the essentials and decided we'd go shopping for anything else we needed.
It was raining. A pathetic, cold, depressing rain as we drove. I called Donita to check on her and get what little details she had. She was rather together, as she'd had a little more time to process than I had at this point. She said he was found that morning, but had done it the afternoon before. I was so angry that my little brother had been dead for more than 12 hours and no one knew it. I felt like I should've known. I should've felt it. I felt like it was my fault that he had laid there, alone. Alone. I was so angry at myself.
We drove what felt like 25 MPH to Farmington. We got to my sister's house where she and my dad were. They were so still. We talked about the details. When did it happen, how was he found, who found out first... All the pointless information that seems so vital in the moment.
My biggest worry was "Was he scared? Did he have doubts in that last split second?"
The next few days went by in a blur. There were hundreds of people. Tons of flowers. Lots of tears. We had the option of seeing him during our family visitation. Without seeing him, we knew we'd never believe it. The funeral home told us that they tried to "reconstruct" as much as possible, but were not able to. For us, his tattoo served as closure. The visitation, the funeral, the gravesite, the cleaning out of his belongings, the questions, the grief, the guilt. It was all part of the process and the worst week of my life.
There are days that are still as paralyzing as April 18, 2008. There are days when I can't forgive myself for moving away and leaving him after mom died. Days when I beat myself up for not asking more questions of him when I knew something wasn't right. There have been days when I just wanted to die with him.
But those days are coming fewer and far between. I definitely believe that God takes our pain and helps us create strength from it. Only He knows how much pain we've endured. This life hurdle can be used to help others. It has taught me to not take anything for granted, to appreciate love, to be more understanding of other peoples' circumstances and to treat today as though it may be your last. It has made me a better mother, because I never want my children to doubt how much they are loved, how special they are and how much better they can make this world.
We are here for a reason. We are here for a season. With God, nothing is impossible.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
BrAiN dEaD...
There comes a point in pregnancy where a woman goes completely brain dead. I have officially reached that point.
I'm sitting at my desk with a million thoughts of things I need to be doing to prepare for Brooklyn's arrival both at home and at work. So many things in fact that I can't pick one. I sleep, but don't feel rested and am in a steady round of hip/back pain that keeps me distracted. Brooklyn is slowing in her movements, but picking up in weight and definitely running out of room in there.
On one hand, I can't wait for her to get here so I can meet her and get to know her. (Not to mention, no longer be sharing a body with her) On the other hand, I have plenty of anxiety of how I'm going to handle the additional responsibility of caring for a newborn again, physically recover from surgery, ride the hormone roller coaster and then transition back into work. It's all a bit much to handle right now and I'm trying to come up with answers to questions that haven't been asked yet.
We've had a crazy month at work, with more than enough change in staffing placement. We've made a shift in what teachers work what room and everyone is trying to settle and still care for the kids in their room while maintaining some sort of sanity.
As I sit here, my stress level is off the charts and I just want to take my baby boy, go home and cry. I'm so tapped out with drama and stupidity and just wish people would take a deep breath, realize that some details aren't important and get their priorities straight.
So, enough of my hormonal rant. I'll re-focus, lead by example and put on my big girl panties and deal with it.
God never gives us more than we can handle, right?
I'm sitting at my desk with a million thoughts of things I need to be doing to prepare for Brooklyn's arrival both at home and at work. So many things in fact that I can't pick one. I sleep, but don't feel rested and am in a steady round of hip/back pain that keeps me distracted. Brooklyn is slowing in her movements, but picking up in weight and definitely running out of room in there.
On one hand, I can't wait for her to get here so I can meet her and get to know her. (Not to mention, no longer be sharing a body with her) On the other hand, I have plenty of anxiety of how I'm going to handle the additional responsibility of caring for a newborn again, physically recover from surgery, ride the hormone roller coaster and then transition back into work. It's all a bit much to handle right now and I'm trying to come up with answers to questions that haven't been asked yet.
We've had a crazy month at work, with more than enough change in staffing placement. We've made a shift in what teachers work what room and everyone is trying to settle and still care for the kids in their room while maintaining some sort of sanity.
As I sit here, my stress level is off the charts and I just want to take my baby boy, go home and cry. I'm so tapped out with drama and stupidity and just wish people would take a deep breath, realize that some details aren't important and get their priorities straight.
So, enough of my hormonal rant. I'll re-focus, lead by example and put on my big girl panties and deal with it.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
The Birthday Boy!
 |
| Waiting patiently for our family to arrive. |
1 year ago (tomorrow technically) our little man joined our family and forever changed our life.
I could fill this with all the typical "you don't know love until you have a child" cliches, but if you don't have children, you don't understand that statement and if you do have children, you totally understand without any other verbage from me.
As many of you know, life has been a little less than "nice" to me for
the last handful of years. After losing mom and DJ, I was becoming increasingly bitter towards everything and was really struggling to stay positive about the direction my life was taking. I took a job at a daycare to supplement the hours I was losing with the family I nannied for, and I was promoted rather quickly. It felt good to be needed and working full time again, but I didn't realize it would be the most stressful job I'd ever had. I carry a lot of responsibility, and at the time it was nice to have a distraction from the painful, guilt-ridden thoughts I was having. I settled into the job and found a comfortable routine and new purpose. But that only lasted a short time until I felt myself becoming numb and bitter again.
Now, by no means did we have Brady in order to fix me. He was and continues to be a gift from God that proves to me there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. God's timing is perfect, His purpose for my life is a never-ending journey and His love is unending.
 |
| Last photo before Brady joined us. |
My biggest parenting fear is that he will never forget the mistakes I make and that I will fail him as a parent, but I know if I keep my priorities in line with God's calling on all of our lives, he will grow up to be everything God has planned for him.
 |
| Brady Michael- our most amazing blessing to date! |
So, I wish my baby boy and very Happy 1st Birthday.
I thank him for making me a better person and I wish him all the love a momma can send!
Monday, March 21, 2011
My Amazing Husband
I'd like to think that I am a superwoman who could do anything and everything that was put in my lap, all by myself. However, I have learned that I certainly can't and it's OK. Thank God (and I mean that literally) that I was given an amazing husband. He is the leader of our home, an excellent example of strength and determination for our children, and my perfect completer.
Obviously, as my belly gets bigger and Brady gets bigger, daddy takes over even more than his share of responsibility in our home. AND he's learning everyday how to deal with an even crazier pregnant wife. It's a roller coaster for all of us!
He "took over" the laundry chore several months ago, he grocery shops, he has rearranged his schedule to go to the gym after Brady is asleep and I have passed out on the couch for the night. He is a better bathroom cleaner than I am and is a great cook.
As I write this, I'm thinking to myself, "Well, what exactly are you doing at home, supermom?" I'm not exactly sitting on my butt eating ice cream... I would if I could :) I'm usually along for the ride on most of these things- I'd love to be able to do everything, but I'm physically down for the count at this point!
Chad and I have been together 15 1/2 years to date. Literally, half of my life has been spent at his side. He was the first person to ever tell me he loved me (and mean it- 6th/7th grade boyfriends excluded). He has been with me through bouts of teenage bulimia, the death of my mom and brother, and he stretches me everyday to be a strong, warrior princess. He treats me like a queen but doesn't let me be a brat. I love that he is the head of our household and I happily submit to his final decision. He keeps us on track financially (I only have periodic issues with retail therapy!), keeps me focused and emotionally stable and is always thinking about how to make our future better. We've made mistakes, we're not perfect. We don't have all the answers, but we figure them out together. He is the perfect match for me.
In counting my blessings, I count him several times. I wouldn't be the person I am today without him.
Obviously, as my belly gets bigger and Brady gets bigger, daddy takes over even more than his share of responsibility in our home. AND he's learning everyday how to deal with an even crazier pregnant wife. It's a roller coaster for all of us!
He "took over" the laundry chore several months ago, he grocery shops, he has rearranged his schedule to go to the gym after Brady is asleep and I have passed out on the couch for the night. He is a better bathroom cleaner than I am and is a great cook.
As I write this, I'm thinking to myself, "Well, what exactly are you doing at home, supermom?" I'm not exactly sitting on my butt eating ice cream... I would if I could :) I'm usually along for the ride on most of these things- I'd love to be able to do everything, but I'm physically down for the count at this point!
Chad and I have been together 15 1/2 years to date. Literally, half of my life has been spent at his side. He was the first person to ever tell me he loved me (and mean it- 6th/7th grade boyfriends excluded). He has been with me through bouts of teenage bulimia, the death of my mom and brother, and he stretches me everyday to be a strong, warrior princess. He treats me like a queen but doesn't let me be a brat. I love that he is the head of our household and I happily submit to his final decision. He keeps us on track financially (I only have periodic issues with retail therapy!), keeps me focused and emotionally stable and is always thinking about how to make our future better. We've made mistakes, we're not perfect. We don't have all the answers, but we figure them out together. He is the perfect match for me.
In counting my blessings, I count him several times. I wouldn't be the person I am today without him.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
8 weeks and 5 days to go!
8 weeks and 5 days left...
Pregnancy itself is so surreal. I dreamed my whole life about how fun it was going to be when I was pregnant. The growing bump, the cute waddle, the cravings, the maternity clothes and the special attention :) I definitely have all of those attributes, but they aren't as "fun" as I imagined them to be! I have a serious love/hate relationship with being pregnant. I LOVE the end result, but some of the process- eh, not so much.
My pregnancy with Brady was SO easy, with the exception of a little (very expensive) 36 hour stint at St. Johns for what turned out to be a muscle spasm that caused contractions. I gained 46 pounds, but otherwise, I had no complaints. I slept beautifully (which I could've done 24 hours a day!), no muscle cramps, no morning sickness, no strange cravings. Moodiness was present, but not rampant. Well, maybe you should ask Chad about that one.
This pregnancy however has been a completely different ballgame. Thankfully, no morning sickness! Although, I have had the stomach flu of some variety 3 times so far and let me tell you how irritating it is to throw up when you're visibly pregnant. Taking care of Brady (who is the world's easiest little man to care for!) has been a major factor in how different this pregnancy is. He's just learning to walk, so obviously we carry him a lot, and carrying a 29 lb child can be a bit more than tiring for an ever-expanding body. Some nights when I'm rocking him (on what little lap I have left) I swear the two of them are fighting for space. Brooklyn from the inside and Brady snuggled up around my belly from the outside. Kind of endearing, but exhausting at times too.
Perhaps there's a reason my OB told me not to get pregnant for at least a year after Brady was born. "Your body needs time to heal." My body felt fine to me. Or maybe that was still residual effects from my C-Section pain meds and riding high on hormones? Regardless of how/why/when my princess is coming, I'm anxious to meet her.
And the process of growing a girl has been an adventure. I've been a self-proclaimed b**ch on some days, then there are days when I can cry at the sight of Brady playing with bubbles for the first time (really, I did.) I get frustrated that I have so much I want to do, but no energy to do it. So I rely on Chad to do a lot of grunt work that I'd rather do myself and my brain function is completely gone! I spend most days in a mental fog and it takes A LOT of energy to stay focused and think through things. Thank God for people around me who aren't drowning in progesterone!
But, despite the muscle cramps, insomnia, crankiness and never ending trips to the bathroom, there will be a new princess in the King home in 8 weeks and 5 days... and we can't wait to meet her!
Pregnancy itself is so surreal. I dreamed my whole life about how fun it was going to be when I was pregnant. The growing bump, the cute waddle, the cravings, the maternity clothes and the special attention :) I definitely have all of those attributes, but they aren't as "fun" as I imagined them to be! I have a serious love/hate relationship with being pregnant. I LOVE the end result, but some of the process- eh, not so much.
My pregnancy with Brady was SO easy, with the exception of a little (very expensive) 36 hour stint at St. Johns for what turned out to be a muscle spasm that caused contractions. I gained 46 pounds, but otherwise, I had no complaints. I slept beautifully (which I could've done 24 hours a day!), no muscle cramps, no morning sickness, no strange cravings. Moodiness was present, but not rampant. Well, maybe you should ask Chad about that one.
This pregnancy however has been a completely different ballgame. Thankfully, no morning sickness! Although, I have had the stomach flu of some variety 3 times so far and let me tell you how irritating it is to throw up when you're visibly pregnant. Taking care of Brady (who is the world's easiest little man to care for!) has been a major factor in how different this pregnancy is. He's just learning to walk, so obviously we carry him a lot, and carrying a 29 lb child can be a bit more than tiring for an ever-expanding body. Some nights when I'm rocking him (on what little lap I have left) I swear the two of them are fighting for space. Brooklyn from the inside and Brady snuggled up around my belly from the outside. Kind of endearing, but exhausting at times too.
Perhaps there's a reason my OB told me not to get pregnant for at least a year after Brady was born. "Your body needs time to heal." My body felt fine to me. Or maybe that was still residual effects from my C-Section pain meds and riding high on hormones? Regardless of how/why/when my princess is coming, I'm anxious to meet her.
And the process of growing a girl has been an adventure. I've been a self-proclaimed b**ch on some days, then there are days when I can cry at the sight of Brady playing with bubbles for the first time (really, I did.) I get frustrated that I have so much I want to do, but no energy to do it. So I rely on Chad to do a lot of grunt work that I'd rather do myself and my brain function is completely gone! I spend most days in a mental fog and it takes A LOT of energy to stay focused and think through things. Thank God for people around me who aren't drowning in progesterone!
But, despite the muscle cramps, insomnia, crankiness and never ending trips to the bathroom, there will be a new princess in the King home in 8 weeks and 5 days... and we can't wait to meet her!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Balance? Really, does it exist?
Balance...does it exist? Does anyone ever feel like they are ahead of the game and not constantly play an endless game of "catch up"? I am, by no means, a planner, organizer, scheduler kind of person, but I'm beginning to think I'd be more efficient at everything if I was :)
Chad and I are working to figure out mealtimes and keeping our 29 lb, 32 in. 1 year old, full! He is a bottomless pit lately and we are constantly planning and preparing to stay ahead of him. We spent yesterday afternoon cutting fruit, veggies and cooking for the week ahead, because momma has hit the 3rd trimester wall and would just like to sleep 24 hours a day!
In addition to working full time jobs and strategically planning to get out of debt and save for our own home, our plates tend to be full. When we're home together (every night, thankfully) we have a beautiful routine and it's all about our family. We cook dinner, (even if that means tuna sandwiches) have a ton of fun playing with Brady and walking around the house with him wobblyingly holding our hands for security and enjoy bath-time. The weekends usually consist of catching up on laundry and getting out and about a little. Sometimes the "routine" drives me crazy, as I wish I had more time or energy to live life a little more excitingly, but then there are days when I'm so thankful for the monotony. Brady is changing so much, so quickly. He's finally crawling and has now moved on to wanting to walk everywhere. Which is not necessarily fun when you're nearly 8 months pregnant and have worked an 8 hour stressful day. BUT- his smile and squeal make it all worth it.
Now, I'm by no means complaining about my job. If I really wanted to stay home, I would, but in all honesty...I kind of enjoy the distraction of a job and the feeling of productivity I get. I run a daycare of about 60 kiddos and 15-16 employees. It's not glamorous by any means as I've been known to plunge a toilet or two and have tweezed many a various item out of little noses! I like to think I'm contributing to society in some small way though :)
We have been talking very seriously about homeschooling our little ones. I love the idea of being my children's teacher, but that also adds to the hats I will wear. I am totally committed to the idea and still have a few years to get our resources together, so no big debates needed now. I know it's a controversial subject, but after teaching in both public and private schools...it's just what I feel most confident in. I want to teach them HOW to think, not just what to think. Anyway, that's a blog in itself!
Life is going to get interesting and I can't wait to welcome Ms. Brooklyn to our family. I'm excited and terrified at the same time to have a daughter. Girls just seem like a whole different ballgame. Not to mention I wasn't crazy about being one myself :) I'm looking forward to shopping weekends and getting our nails done- maybe she'll bring the princess out of me! Her room is coming together...slowly at times it seems, but it's definitely a girls room. There are still a few little details to take care of, but I certainly learned with Brady that what I think is going to be important usually isn't and the things I've overlooked always seem to find the spotlight.
If there are any supermoms, either stay-at-home or working with great tips on how to keep my sanity- I welcome them!!
In addition to working full time jobs and strategically planning to get out of debt and save for our own home, our plates tend to be full. When we're home together (every night, thankfully) we have a beautiful routine and it's all about our family. We cook dinner, (even if that means tuna sandwiches) have a ton of fun playing with Brady and walking around the house with him wobblyingly holding our hands for security and enjoy bath-time. The weekends usually consist of catching up on laundry and getting out and about a little. Sometimes the "routine" drives me crazy, as I wish I had more time or energy to live life a little more excitingly, but then there are days when I'm so thankful for the monotony. Brady is changing so much, so quickly. He's finally crawling and has now moved on to wanting to walk everywhere. Which is not necessarily fun when you're nearly 8 months pregnant and have worked an 8 hour stressful day. BUT- his smile and squeal make it all worth it.
Now, I'm by no means complaining about my job. If I really wanted to stay home, I would, but in all honesty...I kind of enjoy the distraction of a job and the feeling of productivity I get. I run a daycare of about 60 kiddos and 15-16 employees. It's not glamorous by any means as I've been known to plunge a toilet or two and have tweezed many a various item out of little noses! I like to think I'm contributing to society in some small way though :)
We have been talking very seriously about homeschooling our little ones. I love the idea of being my children's teacher, but that also adds to the hats I will wear. I am totally committed to the idea and still have a few years to get our resources together, so no big debates needed now. I know it's a controversial subject, but after teaching in both public and private schools...it's just what I feel most confident in. I want to teach them HOW to think, not just what to think. Anyway, that's a blog in itself!
Life is going to get interesting and I can't wait to welcome Ms. Brooklyn to our family. I'm excited and terrified at the same time to have a daughter. Girls just seem like a whole different ballgame. Not to mention I wasn't crazy about being one myself :) I'm looking forward to shopping weekends and getting our nails done- maybe she'll bring the princess out of me! Her room is coming together...slowly at times it seems, but it's definitely a girls room. There are still a few little details to take care of, but I certainly learned with Brady that what I think is going to be important usually isn't and the things I've overlooked always seem to find the spotlight.
If there are any supermoms, either stay-at-home or working with great tips on how to keep my sanity- I welcome them!!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Answering the Call
So, I'm doing it. I'm joining the blogging bandwagon...
I'm a working mom of almost 2 children. My little man will be a year old this month and my princess will be here in 9 weeks. Yes, that's what I said, 9 weeks. They will be 13 months apart- what was I thinking right? I was thinking...well, I wasn't thinking anything. I've always said I would be the next Michelle Duggar if I could be. I couldn't believe how madly in love with my son I fell and I figure a second gift will be just as spectacular, so why not have another if that's what God has planned.
I love being a mom. I know it's the greatest calling on my life and I've been dedicated to answering the call on my life for several years now. I still have days when I wonder what the heck I'm here for and if I'm doing anything God wants me to. Then there are days when everything is in place and I know I'm on the right track.
I want to be the wife my husband deserves, my son's biggest cheerleader and my daughter's example of a strong Christian woman. I think that's a pretty decent answer for the call I've been given.
I'm a working mom of almost 2 children. My little man will be a year old this month and my princess will be here in 9 weeks. Yes, that's what I said, 9 weeks. They will be 13 months apart- what was I thinking right? I was thinking...well, I wasn't thinking anything. I've always said I would be the next Michelle Duggar if I could be. I couldn't believe how madly in love with my son I fell and I figure a second gift will be just as spectacular, so why not have another if that's what God has planned.
I love being a mom. I know it's the greatest calling on my life and I've been dedicated to answering the call on my life for several years now. I still have days when I wonder what the heck I'm here for and if I'm doing anything God wants me to. Then there are days when everything is in place and I know I'm on the right track.
I want to be the wife my husband deserves, my son's biggest cheerleader and my daughter's example of a strong Christian woman. I think that's a pretty decent answer for the call I've been given.
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