2,555 days. Memoir to my Angel Momma

7
God's perfect number.
7 days to create the Earth
7 Wonders of the World
7 Seals of Revelation
Jacob took 7 years to build the temple
There are 7 Feast days
Job had 7 sons
...ok, you get it.
For God, 7 is perfect and means completion in many cases.
For me, however, 7 has a completely different meaning today. Today, 7 means the number of years since my momma became my angel momma. 2,555 days since I've heard her voice. Felt her skin. Smelled her. Heard her. Seen her smile.
Somedays, 7 years feels like an eternity. And some days it hurts exactly the same as the first day.
It's really strange how my perception of reality can sometimes be altered. When you lose someone so close and time begins to pass, your mind begins to wonder which "life" is reality. Was it real when she was here and I could talk to her anytime I wanted? Or did she really exist at all?  Was that part of my story real? I know that sounds odd, but if you've been in these shoes, perhaps it makes sense to you.
My mom was an incredibly strong woman with a sweet smile, a stubborn streak that was a mile long and a heart for her children. She made spaghetti on rainy days (which I do now because I crave it!) She loved to spend rainy Saturday morning wandering Walmart and Big Lots (which I crave to do as well!) She was a Girl Scout leader with a kitchen filled with cookie boxes each year. She made our dance uniforms for our Brownie Dance Troop. She made my Junior year Sweetheart dress and all the bridesmaids dresses for my wedding. She could redo an entire room in the house in 2 weeks (always while dad was away during the summer with the Army Reserves). She loved to watch Rugrats with us and had a decent addiction to the NES game Snake,Rattle and Roll for about a month. She loved to do family history with Aunt Pat and take the occasional trip to the casino.
She taught me to be strong and stubborn. She taught me that if I want something do, to just do it myself. She taught me that money isn't everything. She taught me to live for my children. She taught me to cook. She taught me to appreciate a good yard sale and flea market find :)
And losing her has taught me to stand strong in my faith. When one foundation is removed from your life, you either replace it or fall apart.  It has taught me not to take anything for granted. To slow down and soak up every moment with my children. To make sure, without a doubt, that they know how much I love them. It has taught me that God is bigger than any challenge I could ever face. And there have been some challenges for sure.
Today, I miss her. My memory is flooded with childhood pictures of birthday parties, Saturday mornings, my backyard, the sound of her walking down the hall, watching her cook dinner, seeing her on the sidelines during performances, walking down the aisle with DJ at my wedding, and so many other moments I wish I could recreate. And some I wish I'd never experienced.
I'm so thankful for the woman she was. The example of a strong mother and a safe place to land.
I'm thankful for her "Make it happen" spirit and don't take 'No' for an answer mentality.
I wish my babies could know her, but I know there is a lot of her in me. I know she's with me all the time from music that plays on the radio to the hummingbird that flies around my front porch, and especially when I hear her shooting from my mouth!
7. God's perfect number sure has a lot of meaning today.

Blessed beyond measure....and income.

I'm 2 months into my best career move ever. I've been home with Brady and Brooklyn for 9 weeks now and just like when they were born, I can't imagine living life any differently. I love the complete freedom of being home and not having my brain owned by the pressures of a job. It took a few weeks for me to stop worrying about that job though! I was so conflicted for a while thinking about whether or not things were going ok for everyone else, all while trying to adjust to being home 24/7. As time has passed, my thoughts are focusing and our new routine is establishing itself. I relish the moments when Brady and Brooklyn are playing together laughing and jabbering to each other. I know these moments are fleeting and passing very quickly. I love the challenge of keeping up with laundry and overcoming my natural laziness when it's time to cook- AGAIN. (There's only so much you can do with hamburger and chicken!) Now that I'm settling into the full-time mom role, I'm picking up a new outlet. Tonight, I'm beginning a new kickboxing class at a local gym (Lead by the awesome Christy Ragsdale Hempen herself!) and I'm really excited to have something that is just for me. I've gotten back to pre-baby weight; not SHAPE mind you. I'm looking to this class as an outlet, a refresher for my brain and the opportunity to make me proud of myself. This has always been an area of great challenge for me, but I'm doing it with a different focus. Bring it on! All in all, this leap of faith has been a fabulous one. As only God himself could do. Thank you Heavenly Father for blessings more numerous than I know!

Wow. The last 7 years...

I'm having a real moment of reflection.  I am approaching another major life change and my heart and head are in a whirlwind.

In less than a month, I will be leaving my "career life" behind and embracing the challenge of being a "work at home mom" (I like the term WORK better than STAY, because I'm not just sitting around watching Soaps all day)

I am ecstatic at the blessing of being able to give up my income to raise my children and run my home; but I'm also very apprehensive about closing this chapter in my life.  I know this is right and the timing is His, but my flesh is panicking a little.  I've been through a lot of change, I'll roll with this one too.

7 years ago, I was newly married.  I was an elementary teacher.  I had a mother.  I had a brother.  I didn't have children.  I lived in Farmington.  I knew no challenge.

In 7 years, I have changed careers. I have known pain and tragedy.  I have left my hometown.  I have grown.  I have been blessed with the 2 most amazing gifts.  I have bought a house.  I have become a "minivan" mom.  I plan meals.  I grocery shop at Aldi's to stay on budget.  I put my childrens' needs before my own.  I've seen my body stretch and grow.  I've felt my babies inside me.  I've planned nurseries.  I've nursed illnesses.  I've run a business.  I've managed women (that's a feat in itself!) I've spun plates to keep everything moving forward.  I've been stressed.  I've been blessed.  I've been stretched.  I've been happy.  I've been TIRED.  I've loved this crazy life.  And now a new door opens as one is closing behind me.

This job has been so integral in growing who I am today.  I came to this center to keep my mind occupied during the hardest, most miserable moments of my life.  This job has saved my life.  (this is scary to put in writing) I was struggling with wanting to stay on this earth when I found this job.  I had never felt so much overwhelming pain before and I didn't know how to handle it.  I didn't want to handle it.  Then came St. Philips.  This job has been difficult and challenging, but it has introduced me to some of my best friends.  It has made me laugh.  It has made me cuss.  It has brought me joy and purpose.  It has been a huge part of my life and most importantly a part of my heart.  I guess that's why it's so emotional to leave it behind and take the next step of faith forward.

I know God is in the unknown, and that He has a master plan for my life and the lives of my children.  I welcome His guidance, His vision and His peace as I move forward.

Here's to the next 7 years!

Hearing His voice

I love serving a big God, and nothing is more satisfying to my spirit than knowing that I've heard His voice.
Now, He doesn't have a specific "voice" so to speak.  It's just a knowing that I have.  A peace that I'm doing the right thing and making the right decisions.  It can also be a knowing that I'm NOT doing the right thing and that I'm hiding in my comfortable-ness (is that a word?)

Over Christmas, I decided I was finally ready to listen to the whisper inside me and make the official move to stay home with Brady and Brooklyn.  I've always known that's what I was supposed to do, but ashamedly I battled with myself over whether or not I wanted to.  (That sounds awful to say out-loud!  Apparently my job provides me with a tangible self of worth and a superficial pat on the back. ) But, over the week I took of vacation to enjoy my kiddos, God gave me a peace and desire that the only people I need to perform for is 1) Him and 2) my family.

Chad and I talked about it at length, made sure we'd be ok financially and then made the official decision that I would be a full time mommy.

Since that moment, something has changed.  I feel a sense of value that is indescribable. A knowing that I'm doing what I'm called to do.  That I will be an integral part in raising two strong Christian children that can not only survive this world, but change it for His glory.  I have taken more pride in myself.  I'm learning to take care of me and to search deeper into my relationship with God and continue to listen to what He needs me to do.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm no super hero-mom that has it under control!  Ah, if only I had something under control.  I'm just learning to listen closer.  To tune my ear into His voice.  And to take the next step of faith.  I love serving a big God.

Where does the time go?

When I started this blog, I thought it would be a great outlet for me and a way that family and friends could somewhat keep in touch and watch the kiddos grow.  Hmm, I guess that would require me to actually post something more than every 4 months, right?  But who in the crap has time for that?

Brady and Brooklyn are growing and changing so quickly and time is passing so fast.  Especially from 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM!  Are we really sure there are 8 full hours in between?  Because I'm pretty sure I'm feeling shorted in that category.

We moved into the new house a month ago and are pretty well settled.  We still have random boxes of stuff that haven't found a home and haven't quite made it to the dumpster yet, but I imagine that's pretty normal!

 The kiddos are adjusting to the new commute we have.  It's only 20 minutes, but it can be the LONGEST 20 minutes with 2 little ones who desperately want out of their seats.  Before we moved into the new house, we lived onsite of the daycare I run.  It is church based and the pastor retired, leaving the 5 bedroom parsonage empty and looking for a renter when Brady was 4 months old.  From September 2010 to November 2011, we lived there; which meant Brooklyn NEVER had to ride in a car seat everyday and Brady only did it for 2 months.  This commuting thing was a big change for them!

And the new mommy having to get them dressed- remembering all their stuff-getting them in and out of the van everyday-without having a meltdown herself-and don't forget that I need to look semiprofessional by the time I actually get to work so I can sell how awesome our daycare is-morning routine is really exhausting.

I've been "Pinterest"ing ways to stay organized with everyday living including cooking in bulk so dinner time can run more efficiently (which is going OK), researching fun little projects to do with B&B in my "spare time", and generally getting addicted to all the awesome ideas on there.  I just wish I had more energy at the end of the day to actually do something I enjoy doing.

If I was a New Years Resolution kind of girl, this would be the list for 2012:
1) Develop a workout routine I enjoy- just to have an outlet and create a healthier lifestyle
2) Spend 1 hour a day doing something I enjoy like crafting/sewing/reading/walking- SLEEPING.
3) Read a book a day to my kids.
4) Pay off a credit card (we don't have much personal debt, but "some" is too much)
5) Have my nails done on a semi-regular basis.  (It's just a superficial thing I think makes me look more put-together)
6) Pray. and remember to be thankful for all things, big and small.

Life is certainly interesting with 2 beautiful babies under 2 years old, a fabulously ignored husband, and a full-time job.  When people told me I'd have my hands full- I had no idea...
But I'm thankful for every exhausting minute!

Time flies when you're raising 2 little children, working a job, buying a house...

Holy moly,  to say we've been busy is an understatement.  Brady and Brooklyn continue to change everyday, both in stature and personality!

Brady still enjoys being the life of the party and has recently gotten tubes in his ears (thanks to ever present ear infections) and has really kicked up the energy level.  He loves anything with wheels and Cookie Monster.  He runs from one end of the house to the other with an ear piercing shriek and will climb the couch in no time.  He's certainly a classic boy!

Brooklyn's personality is really starting to blossom as well.  She likes to move and know what's going on around her.  She giggles a lot and has mommy's dimples.  She loves to watch Brady (especially during the shrieking through the house) and is really a Daddy's girl from the start.  She's been a pretty delicate eater to this point, but is really starting to put some food away!  We're going to start experimenting with new foods this week to try and get her fuller.  I think she definitely looks more like Chad than Brady does.  She's fairer complected and is still a little cue ball for the most part.

We've bought our first home and are now waiting for an official closing date (don't buy a government owned home if you have time constraints- they'll take their sweet time, for sure!)  It's in Pevely so we're a little closer to "home".  We are so excited to get settled and enjoy the holidays together as a complete family this year.  I can't wait to see their faces on Christmas morning!

All in all, life is great and incredibly hectic at times.  God is good to us.  He's blessed us with a beautiful family, wonderful home, stable secure income and a heart for others.  We certainly couldn't ask for more.

Long time, no blog...

Wow, what a whirlwind of a few months it's been!  It goes without saying that Ms. Brooklyn has made her arrival safe and sound and has been SUCH a blessing to our little family.
I had a lot of trepidation about having 2 children so young and how the added responsibility would change our lives, but we figure it out everyday and wouldn't change a single detail!

Here's my favorite picture of  "Little Bit", as I call her.  She's a very sweet, calm personality and is so much like Brady.  She looks like him, but very much individual.  She's 11 weeks old now and is starting to be much more interactive.  She coo's and smiles at us when she wakes in the morning.  She loves to cuddle and talk to the ceiling fans!

Brady is so good with her, too.  He's always looking for "sissy", as he calls her, and loves to give her kisses.  For the most part, he ignores that she's around but as soon as she cries, he's quick to find her and try to give                
                                         her a binky.

Life is good in the King house; speaking of King 'house', we've started the hunt for our first home.  We're been renting from the church I work for for the last year or so and are ready to settle into our own home.  I'll keep you posted on the progress!

Have a great weekend~ and I'll try to stay in touch more often now :)