I love serving a big God, and nothing is more satisfying to my spirit than knowing that I've heard His voice.
Now, He doesn't have a specific "voice" so to speak. It's just a knowing that I have. A peace that I'm doing the right thing and making the right decisions. It can also be a knowing that I'm NOT doing the right thing and that I'm hiding in my comfortable-ness (is that a word?)
Over Christmas, I decided I was finally ready to listen to the whisper inside me and make the official move to stay home with Brady and Brooklyn. I've always known that's what I was supposed to do, but ashamedly I battled with myself over whether or not I wanted to. (That sounds awful to say out-loud! Apparently my job provides me with a tangible self of worth and a superficial pat on the back. ) But, over the week I took of vacation to enjoy my kiddos, God gave me a peace and desire that the only people I need to perform for is 1) Him and 2) my family.
Chad and I talked about it at length, made sure we'd be ok financially and then made the official decision that I would be a full time mommy.
Since that moment, something has changed. I feel a sense of value that is indescribable. A knowing that I'm doing what I'm called to do. That I will be an integral part in raising two strong Christian children that can not only survive this world, but change it for His glory. I have taken more pride in myself. I'm learning to take care of me and to search deeper into my relationship with God and continue to listen to what He needs me to do.
Don't get me wrong. I'm no super hero-mom that has it under control! Ah, if only I had something under control. I'm just learning to listen closer. To tune my ear into His voice. And to take the next step of faith. I love serving a big God.