Faith

Faith

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Wow. The last 7 years...

I'm having a real moment of reflection.  I am approaching another major life change and my heart and head are in a whirlwind.

In less than a month, I will be leaving my "career life" behind and embracing the challenge of being a "work at home mom" (I like the term WORK better than STAY, because I'm not just sitting around watching Soaps all day)

I am ecstatic at the blessing of being able to give up my income to raise my children and run my home; but I'm also very apprehensive about closing this chapter in my life.  I know this is right and the timing is His, but my flesh is panicking a little.  I've been through a lot of change, I'll roll with this one too.

7 years ago, I was newly married.  I was an elementary teacher.  I had a mother.  I had a brother.  I didn't have children.  I lived in Farmington.  I knew no challenge.

In 7 years, I have changed careers. I have known pain and tragedy.  I have left my hometown.  I have grown.  I have been blessed with the 2 most amazing gifts.  I have bought a house.  I have become a "minivan" mom.  I plan meals.  I grocery shop at Aldi's to stay on budget.  I put my childrens' needs before my own.  I've seen my body stretch and grow.  I've felt my babies inside me.  I've planned nurseries.  I've nursed illnesses.  I've run a business.  I've managed women (that's a feat in itself!) I've spun plates to keep everything moving forward.  I've been stressed.  I've been blessed.  I've been stretched.  I've been happy.  I've been TIRED.  I've loved this crazy life.  And now a new door opens as one is closing behind me.

This job has been so integral in growing who I am today.  I came to this center to keep my mind occupied during the hardest, most miserable moments of my life.  This job has saved my life.  (this is scary to put in writing) I was struggling with wanting to stay on this earth when I found this job.  I had never felt so much overwhelming pain before and I didn't know how to handle it.  I didn't want to handle it.  Then came St. Philips.  This job has been difficult and challenging, but it has introduced me to some of my best friends.  It has made me laugh.  It has made me cuss.  It has brought me joy and purpose.  It has been a huge part of my life and most importantly a part of my heart.  I guess that's why it's so emotional to leave it behind and take the next step of faith forward.

I know God is in the unknown, and that He has a master plan for my life and the lives of my children.  I welcome His guidance, His vision and His peace as I move forward.

Here's to the next 7 years!